My New Bike

It's funny how life can change. It was just two years ago that I bought my new Harley. I was so proud of that bike and it was suddenly taken from me in an accident three months after I got it. And now two years later I am celebrating the purchase of another new bike well a bicycle that is! Yes that's right Mike is the proud new owner of a Marin"Urban". I really like it and it fits into my big plan of getting my shit together. Yesterday I woke up and the usual sharks were swimming around in my head so instead of lying there thinking I got up, jogged to the gym and had a good work out. I then came home and jumped on my bike and tore up the city for the rest of the day. The trick for me is staying out of my head I am alright as long as I do that. As long as I am busy I think about productive positive things and not the usual shit that I have no control over. That is one of the things I am learning in the program. It might sound simple enough but when you are so used to processing things in a negative way it isn't. It will be thirty days for me tomorrow. I know it isn't a long time but it's a start,the start of many more good days to come!

I've faced it, a life wasted, and I'm never going back again.

Eddie Vedder truer words haver never been spoken. When I look back on the last two years of my life well they have been wasted. I have always been afraid to tap into my potential not wanting to discover it. I don't know what is happening to me but I like it. I woke up this morning and bad shit was racing through my head so I got up and went and joined the YMCA! I had a work out, not a huge one because I didn't want too go to hard too fast and I do want to be able to move my body tomorrow! It felt great to walk down there in the sunshine a proper start to the day. The shit is still in my head but I am feeling better about myself so now it's just little shit. I met with my sponsor last night and he could quite possibly be the greatest guy ever. We have so much in common and I don't think I could have picked a better sponsor. He talked a lot about service within the program so I am going to volunteer at the convention coming up, like they say "we only keep what we have by giving it away". I am going to grab a shower then go down to Curbside and look at some bicycles. I have a meeting at 2:00 and it's one I haven't been to before. My chest has healed beautifully, Bill Baker I love you!

Back in the Big Smoke

After driving straight for thirteen hours I arrived back in Toronto at about 3a.m. this morning. I think it might have been all of the coffee but I could not sleep! I was in and out until (SnellyCat I can here you snicker)about 9:30 then I just gave up. I had a nice hot shower which I haven't had since last Saturday because of a healing tattoo. I went to the YMCA to join up but I didn't bring a blank cheque so I will go back tomorrow. The nice thing about living a healthier life is that I feel like I am more deserving to treat myself better. I actually bought some fruit at the grocery store today which is a departure from my usual staples. Before I thought I drug,drink and smoke I might as well eat like shit too. How fucked up is that! I hit a 12:00 meeting and because I am on holidays this week and it's not a meeting I would usually go to but it was good. I am going to pick the girls up in a little bit and I am very excited to see them. It's strange I have this headache and it's the same one that I had when I left Toronto last week. Other than that things are great!

Music City

I have had such a great time in Nashville. It has been great to spend some quality time with Carolyn we've been getting to know each other and I truly value her. I found a really good N.A. group called "The Lunch Bunch". They meet every day of the week at 12:00. I have been every day this week and have met some really good people. I'll be leaving for home right after the meeting tomorrow. It's been good to get away and clear my head. Carolyn has given me some good advice and I feel positive about getting back. It will great to see the kids. I almost forgot Carolyn took me to the treatment center that she volunteer's at. It is called Thistle Farm's and is a drug and alcohol treatment center for women. We did a sharing circle and then I got to address envelope's! It was great to volunteer because I wasn't thinking about my shit it was something bigger than myself. I am so thankful that I got the opportunity to do it. Carolyn took me to a great independent clothing shop today. I bought some new jeans,jacket and a sweater. It was a really sweet store with lots of stuff to tempt me! I will definitely be coming back to Nashville in the future. I know Carolyn will be reading this so let me just say how much I like her and how thankful I am to have her in my life.

Nashville

I decided to take a road trip and ended up in Nashville to visit an old friend. Things were getting very stressful in Toronto and I needed to get away. Being in early recovery is no picnic! I am so thankful to N.A. for giving me a vision of who I can be if I work the program. I am going to a meeting tonight in Nashville and I am very excited.